Stunt Double

This is the post where I bare my soul. And my size. I've always wanted a dressmaker's dummy, but let's face it, no matter how many places they're adjustable, they'll never really be you. Or me. About 10 years ago or so, I found a site online that showed how to make your very own dressmaker's dummy, your very own twin. It took two people to do it, and neither one of my kids would have made a good helper at the time (teenage angst and all that), so I just forgot about it. BUT - I got an email from Sew News and voila - it's been re-invented. I recently bought this pattern, which led me to believe I needed to make a corset to achieve the correct silhouette, which led me to believe that I needed a dressmaker's form. Whew, see what happens when you try to get back to basics? So, last night I decided to let John help me make this stunt double of mine. As usual, I didn't follow the directions verbatim. There was no way I was slipping into a trash bag, even in air conditioning. I used an old tee shirt of John's, which was much less likely to make me sweat like a pig. Next time I will use an XXL tee, cut off the arms, and then sew it up to make it form fitting to me, especially under the arms. I'll then use one of the sleeves as a turtleneck, so I can take the neckline higher. I sent John to the store to get the paper, self-adhesive tape, but he couldn't find any, so he bought masking tape and more duct tape. The masking tape was out, but the duct tape worked well. I'll order the paper tape next time. Remember, it's the self-adhesive type, not the type you have to dip in water. Okay, next I had John wrap me in the cross your heart style, as indicated in the directions. See, it's getting ugly already. Next, he did the skirt section. It wasn't really a skirt though, because the tee shirt was too short. No, I'm not pregnant, just fat. Thanks for asking.Next came the back. Rebecca E., if you're reading this you can see what I meant about fat back. Just throw me in a pan and fry me up! I look like a freaking linebacker. At this point we got ready to do the underarms, and realized we were going to have to cut off the sleeves. Like I said, next time I'll cut them off, then sew up the sides to fit, because the sleeve hole hangs down too far, and duct tape on your armpits is never a good thing. Ouch.


Finally, after layers and layers of tape, it was time to cut me out. There are no pictures of that step, but trust me, it was funny. More so for John than for me. Watch what you're doing with those scissors, buddy.
Here I am, deflated, on the floor.

And now taped up.

Definitely matronly. And what happened to my boobs?
They're wonky all right, but not the usual wonky. Some kind of warped tape wonky. I stuffed a pillow in the thing last night to make it stand up, and this morning it was on the floor, and the breasts were inverted. Ouch again. So I'll be doing this again. And again - until it comes out a size 6, just like me.